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These Shorts Stand Tall! (A Brief Evaluation – Part 2)
Review of Part 1 When ads for expensive underwear began appearing on my Facebook feed, I wondered if these uber- shorts were really worth the high price. So, I purchased four pairs of the top brands...
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Loose Threads From My Underwear (Posts)
There were some leftover threads from my underwear evaluation that I could not fit in. In other words, my shorts posts were too tight! So here they are:I Got Fat ShamedThere were two, high-priced,...
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I’m Scoring Every Night In This Bed
Recently I purchased a Sleep Number Bed. I know these things are darn expensive, but I am not trying to impress you with this revelation. I do not spend money on things to flaunt my status, however I...
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Working Naked From Home
Everybody is freaking out about so called “Fake News”, but there is an even more serious danger lurking on the Internet. I will call these the Pure Bullsh*t Advice Article (PBAA). This drivel...
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Writing Huge Checks Is Taxing – But Patriotic
I gasped as I signed the final check on the morning of April 15th. I don’t have to tell you what the check is for, because it is one of the few days that is so distinctive that we use the actual date...
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Oh Kenmore High Forever – Not Really
I started writing humor my senior year of high school in a monthly column titled “Giving The Bird”. Yes, they actually let me call it that because the mascot at Kenmore High School in Akron, Ohio is...
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I Done Got Played! - The Making of a Humor Writer (Part 1)
Skilled writers are made, not born. Your DNA certainly provides some talent, but you do not exit the womb grasping a quill. While what you write is a function of imagination, emotion and life...
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They Are Never Going To Print This – The Making Of A Humor Writer (Part 2)
By far the most difficult task in my becoming a humor writer was learning how to write well. The humor part just comes naturally. I may not have popped out of the womb holding a quill, but I may have...
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Sleeping Nude On A Business Trip – But Getting No Action
This trip is going real smooth so far, I thought, as a I relaxed on my short flight into Sevesta. (All city names were changed to protect the incompetent.) I know I should never think thoughts like...
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Going “Blog Dark” In Order To Finish Book Two
I have good news and bad news. The bad news is there will no new blog posts for a while in Ake’s Pains. The good news is I am doing this so I can finish the manuscript for my second book “Will There...
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My Devices Are Now Managing Me
Sometime around 2003 I traded in my portable CD player for something called an MP3 unit to listen to music while jogging. I felt some remorse at this change because it was a high-end CD player with...
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Transforming Into The Perfect Gentleman
I’ve reached the point in my life where I don’t need to compete with people and I can put the needs of others in front of my own. I can be more charming, gracious, courteous, polite, well-mannered and...
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I Am Suddenly A Fantastic Golfer
It’s autumn in Northeast Ohio and another season of golf has come to an end. Fortunately, I was able to play all the golf I wanted this year. Which interestingly enough was the same amount of golf I...
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It’s Killing Me To Try Uber
All fathers have that “Rule #1”, the rule which is repeated countless times with strong and serious emphasis. For mine it was: Never get in a car with a stranger! If you do, he will kill you and you...
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Middle-Age-Man-Rage Strikes Again
Recently a dispute between two men in their 50’s made the news. This conflict involving next-door-neighbors in an upscale, gated community resulted in one of the men receiving six broken ribs,...
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The Story of the Christmas Goose – A Touching Tale
Disclaimer: This is a true story and I decided a year ago it would be my next Christmas blog. It should not in any way be seen as a social commentary about more serious issues currently in the news....
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Sammiches, Chicken and Garbage – 2017 In Review (Part 1)
Every year there are things that are humorous but don’t merit an entire blog post. So to clear the deck for 2018 and have some more chuckles in 2017, here are some leftovers!A Monumental EventMy fans...
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Cougars, Clusters and Bad Velcro – 2017 In Review (Part 2)
Some more funny topics that didn’t warrant a full post in 2017The Endorsement of the YearThe business networking site LinkedIn lets your connections (equivalent to Facebook friends) endorse you for...
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It’s Not Too Late To Get The Flu
I remember reading an article on the flu season beginning in Northeast Ohio. It was expected this year would be “bad”. It listed the symptoms of the flu: high fevers, body aches, congestion, coughing,...
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A Tribute To Midnight, My Dog: Part One – I Never Wanted A Dog
(Note: These are the most difficult posts I have ever written. I am counting the number of breakdowns during the series. (bd#))I never wanted a dog.My dad grew up in the woods of Pennsylvania and...
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