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Don't Get Caught Napping When Fate Intervenes
My alma mater, the University of Akron, made front-page news (yes, really) by purchasing four “nap-pods”. The nap-pods provide a calm, dark, relaxing environment so students can relieve stress by...
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Working Hard On Retirement
My friend Don, the same name and age as me, didn’t feel like going to work one Monday, so he called off sick. The next day, he still didn’t feel like going to work, so he called off “retired”. Yep,...
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Tom Brady’s Ego Isn’t the Only Thing That’s Deflated
Everyone is heartbroken over the recent divorce of Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady. This was the grown-up equivalent of the high school quarterback paired with the homecoming queen, except unlike then,...
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Cat-Like Reflexes on the Internet
Isn’t it great to live in this high-tech era?!!! Modern technology is by far the most advanced in the history of the world. And that makes us the most sophisticated, refined, intellectual culture ever!...
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Lots of Sex, Lies, and Monopoly Money
Welcome to another edition of Don Explains It AllToday’s Topic: CryptocurrencyYes, today we are going to plunge into the exciting and complex world of what is called cryptocurrency! Well, they say it’s...
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This Year’s Weirdest Christmas Gift Ever!
Several years ago, at Christmastime, I began donating a goat for poor people through ChildFund International. While I admit it’s kind of a gimmick to get you to donate, it is a legitimate thing. I...
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We Couldn’t Care Any Less – Except for the beer thing
When you are a toddler, you basically live a carefree existence. You literally can make it through the entire day without a care in the world. People actually make you sammiches without you even having...
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When You Write Her Up – It Never Stops
Web Headline: His Wife Is A Stay-At-Home Mom, And After He Gave Her A Written Performance Review, She Lost ItWhen I read this headline, I winced, thinking what might happen if I did the same thing. I...
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Discussing Dick Pics
Dick pics are one of the worst uses of technology in the digital age. At some point in our digital evolution, it became possible to take a photo of your erect penis on your phone and send it to someone...
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This Women’s Sports League is a Bust
Several months ago, I was channel surfing through the sports offerings when I accidentally clicked on a women's soccer match. I chuckled to myself because I find both soccer and women's sports...
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Men Have The Right To Whiz Standing Up
Earlier this year, a school district in New Hampshire banned the use of urinals as part of a new policy of locker room/bathroom use as a result of the gender-bender debate. The urinals were now...
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Boys Just Wanna Have Fun
When I started watching the business-based drama Succession, I immediately identified with the character of Roman Roy. While the other characters screamed and freaked out about business dealings and...
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Ladies – That’s No Bonus Hole!
I never, ever thought that I would write a blog post about that private part of a woman, her, uh, that uh, -- well, I am so uncomfortable with the subject that I will call it the V-word, which is much...
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The Amish Are Hot! - Literally
It’s been a painfully slow news-summer, but I was still shocked to see this headline in my local paper*:Amish Cope With Heat Without Air Conditioning– My first thought is they should have added the...
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Not a French Kiss - Just A Friendly Spanish One
A firestorm has erupted over the president of Spain's soccer federation kissing the star player on the women's team at the medal ceremony after Spain's victory in the World Cup final. Luis Rubiales...
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The Last Big Diet – Part 1
I recently embarked on what I refer to as ‘My Last Big Diet’. After years of yo-yo dieting, I hit close to my all-time weight and must shed, or more appropriately shred, significant poundage, or I will...
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The Last Big Diet, Part 2 - Hot Blonde Motivation
Because the first post about ‘My Last Big Diet’ generated so many questions, Ferd DeBerg from TMZZ interviewed me: Ferd: Don, our investigation has revealed that you have hired someone to help you...
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I’m So Not Jealous of Taylor Swift’s New Beau
All my inboxes and message boards have blown up the past few weeks asking if I am jealous of the Taylor Swift - Travis Kelce relationship. Apparently, people believe I am obsessed with Taylor Swift...
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Smelly Solutions For A Stinky Problem
There it was once again—the pungent, thick, almost toxic cloud of cheap perfume. It penetrated my lungs, and for a split second, I thought I might faint. Surprisingly, the noxious odor was encountered...
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My Genes Are Recessive But Rather Aggressive
My daughter recently gave birth to her second child. And unlike the first time, I am willing, uh, find it necessary, and resolved to admit that, yes, I am a grandfather. Three years ago, I was hesitant...
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Don’s Tips For A Long Marriage
Welcome to Don’s Tips For A Long Marriage. This advice is intended to keep husbands out of the proverbial doghouse and extend the length of your marriage. Following this advice may also preserve your...
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Wow – I Can Now Burn Bridges!
"Don't burn your bridges."That’s an often-quoted rule of life. Of course, it’s not actually about igniting a steel bridge over a highway. The expression was derived from ancient armies burning the...
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Friends No More! - The Old Guy Chronicles - Part 2
When it comes to having friendships, there are generally three personality types:Friend - AdverseThese people have aggressive, gruff personalities. They tend to say what they feel and don’t care much...
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Angels With Attitudes - Not A Silent Night Behind the Scenes!
Michael, the highest archangel and leader of Project Immanuel:Alright, listen up. Our 9-month project, Immanuel, is coming to a close. We are almost there. Mary and Joseph should have made it to the...
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What’s All This Chatter About Belichick’s Chick?
Internet chat boards are all ablaze with vicious comments on former NFL coach Bill Belichick's relationship with his girlfriend, Jordon Hudson. And "girlfriend" is the optimal term here since there is...
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