Billie Jean’s Not My Problem
Recently I received a very disturbing phone call on my answering machine. It was from a very despondent, young woman who was almost to the point of tears apparently because I would not pay for her...
View ArticleWarning: Do Not Hold the Wrong End of the Chainsaw
A few days ago on my “Dumbest Things Every Said” daily calendar was this listing from a product warning label: “Warning: Do Not Hold the Wrong End of the Chainsaw”. Yes, that is very dumb and it did...
View ArticleWorld Peace Threatens the World Peace!
Everything in the world was going fine (okay if you ignore Syria, North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan and several other countries which are too difficult to spell) and then the unthinkable happened.WORLD...
View ArticleSalmon - It's Not Just For Dinner Anymore
Last June, my blog post “Man Rules For Wearing Pink” was a shot heard round the men’s fashion world. They noticed, oh yeah, they noticed. I have not seen a single pink polo shirt in a sales flyer so...
View ArticleMan! I Feel Like A Hoser!
Man! I Feel Like a Hoser!You Canadian women can rest easier since Jenna Talackova (the transgender beauty queen) did not win the Miss Canada beauty pageant. It would have been embarrassing for you to...
View ArticleThe Big Gulp is Way Too Big For Buddha!
The Mayor of New York City sure got everyone riled up with his proposed ban on large “sugary” drinks. The reaction has not been very sweet at all.I think the issue is very confusing to most people....
View ArticleThese Cannibals are Anything But Fine!
2012 is quickly becoming the “year of the cannibal”. There have been numerous reports of human flesh eating in the civilized world this year and we have six more months to go (true). This is very...
View ArticleOur Freedom Is Busting Out All Over
It is always inspirational when someone aspires to achieve greatness. So we should all be lifted up by the story of Paula Simonds who wants to have the greatest (read largest) breasts in the world....
View ArticleWelcome To Customer Service Hell (There is no one here to assist you)
My blog post on January 9, 2012 included the following statements:I am about to pay my lawn treatment bill for this year and I am also planning to purchase a new lawn tractor. If you combine these two...
View ArticleAlways Use Some Horse-Sense When Choosing a Wife
(Note: None of the details presented in this post are made up. That’s right; sometimes the truth is just that funny!)The Internet news organizations were sent into gyrations a few weeks ago when North...
View ArticleBad Pizza, Man! - Really, Really, Bad Pizza
The summer of 2012 has been one of the hottest on record in Northeast Ohio. During most extremely hot summers, there is that one time, that one day, when you are so hot or uncomfortable that it burns...
View ArticlePreventing Female Riots and Sex Strikes
Men around the world should be concerned about the alarming events occurring in Russia. Some very upset Russian women have gotten involved in something called a “Pussy Riot”. I don’t understand...
View ArticleSunny Beaches and Sons of Beaches
Last month I vacationed in Florida. Usually this lets me experience what it’s like to live in oppressive heat. This summer I did not need to leave home for that. I should have just thrown some sand...
View ArticleGazing Upon the Royal Jewels
Truth #1 – The Internet is a wonderful thing because it allows you to see anything and everything. The Internet is also a terrible thing because it allows you to see anything and everything, including...
View ArticleThese Are My Teams – Now Stop Laughing!
It’s football season in Northeast Ohio and this means I am cheering on my three favorite teams to victory. Okay for two them, I’m actually just yelling a lot. But I have noticed that “my” teams all...
View ArticleMy Big Presidential Endorsement
I thought it would be a good idea to remind everyone the presidential election in just two weeks away, just in case you have been living under a rock the past few months. Of course there is no need to...
View ArticleMooning The Old School Way
One of the worst fashion trends of the past few years is young, urban, males going “beltless” and letting their britches hang too low. Of course this makes them look totally stupid. Now I’m not...
View ArticleI Don’t Get A Kick Out Of Soccer
Soccer is my least favorite of the major sports. I never played it during my athletic days and I’m not sure it even existed when I was in high school. I don’t think you have to be very skilled to...
View ArticleHow To Get Atheists To Celebrate Christmas
The Christmas celebration has begun, but we are leaving something out of Christmas that is very important. Something that was once an integral part of the holiday is now missing. Something that is...
View ArticleDo The Mayans Know Something We Don’t?
Does anybody really know what time it is?Does anybody really care (about time)? - Chicago We all better hope that the answer to the first question is not the Mayans. If you haven’t heard, there is an...
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