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Christmas Miracle In Indiana
Gather round children (you adult children), it’s time for another one of Uncle Don’s Christmastime stories to warm your heart.Last week, Uncle Don traveled to Indiana for an important company meeting....
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2018: The Most Incompetent Year Ever
When the ball dropped for 2018, I had been collapsed in bed for hours after suffering excruciating body aches and high fever from my worst day with that horrible flu. And then the year got worse. Yes,...
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A Very Intimate Handshake – 2018 A Most Incompetent Year (Part 2)
My 2018 was filled with incompetent idiots, as I shared in Part 1. Here are some more people who made the year so special.Strangely enough there were two incompetent events involving the sum of $50...
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I Am Not Mr. Smarty Pants
Every humor writer/comic tells us about their colonoscopy. I strive to be original and fresh, so I promised you I would not write about mine. Uh, er, well some stuff happened that day that was uh,...
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A Cure For Male Pattern Stupidity
Several weeks ago, my email program got upgraded with a new feature called “Smart Compose”. Smart Compose analyzes the email that was sent to me, then suggests words, or sometimes complete sentences,...
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I Smirk In Your General Direction
Hello, my name is Don, and I’m a smirker. I guess I smirk a lot.Because it’s a personal trait I never really saw it a negative. But when I looked up the definition it said “smiling in an irritatingly...
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Having Too Much Wild Turkey
But let me be clear: I do not feed the turkeys. They are not my turkeys.Just as the swallows return to Capistrano and the buzzards return to Hinckley, I anticipated the turkeys returning to my backyard...
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Turkey Eyes Are Watching Me (Turkey Update – Part 2)
For almost two years the turkeys have confounded me with their craftiness. Turkeys are extremely intelligent creatures, so much so, that Ben Franklin favored them over the bald eagle to be our national...
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True Confessions: I Once Was A Male Model
There is something I need to confess. I want to get this sordid event from my past out in the open before TMZ, Perez Hilton and others report on it and a scandal erupts. A scandal so salacious, it...
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Man-Rules For Hugging Women
If things weren’t confusing enough for guys these days, now men are getting confounded about what forms of physical contact with women are socially acceptable. This is a hot topic due to some past...
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Sometimes When We Touch – It’s Inappropriate!
Last time I provided rules for men on hugging females in non-sexual situations. Now it’s time to examine the much grayer area of non-sexual, versus sexual touch. This issue has been vigorously debated...
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Stick This Right Up Your Asparagus
This week I noticed an article in the Food section of the newspaper trumpeting a new asparagus salad recipe. The first four paragraphs gushed about how great this recipe makes the asparagus taste! My...
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We Are Tweeting Away Like 12-Year-Olds
My least favorite school years by far were the ones spent in junior high (that would be 7th and 8th grade, for those of you much older or younger). Everyone was going through adolescence together,...
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I Declare Shenanigans on TV Advertising
Shenanigans (def): Devious tricks used especially for underhanded purposes.Shenanigans In TV AdvertisingCase #1There’s a commercial with “financial experts” advising you to invest huge amounts of money...
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An Unusual 10-Year Celebration
June 26, 2009 – One of the worst days of my entire life.The day before, I was deep in my comfort zone. I was sooooooooo comfortable – like sitting in a soft, easy chair with a bottomless bag of...
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Poor Nathan – Poor, Poor Nathan
The scorching Florida sun was baking me like a potato. The heat index just hit triple digits; my bald head drenched with sweat. My long day on the beach was done.I longed for the cooling jet of the...
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I Will Work to 5 p.m.
It’s a beautiful Friday morning. A spectacular view from my deckThe sun is radiant. The birds are sweetly singing. The flowers drenched in dew. But I will not be enjoying any of this amazing...
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Ah, Look At All The Lonely People (The Story of Me – Part 1)
The characters:BettyBetty was a high school secretary who spent most of her spare time, including every weekend, working at her parent’s grocery store. Her life was good, but she longed to be married...
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Ten Days That Changed Their Worlds (The story of me – Part 2)
If you haven’t read Part 1 – Ah, Look At All The Lonely People, you might want to read it first.Part 1 SummaryBetty and Gene are both thirty-five years of age. They are both single, never-married, but...
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What Happens In Niagara Falls Doesn’t Stay In Niagara Falls (The Story of Me...
This is Part 3 of the story – for context, please read Parts 1 & 2.This was an unusual honeymoon. Betty and Gene had only known each other for three months, following a ten-day relationship. Their...
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