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This DNA Was Never Meant To Be Mixed – The Story of Me (Epilogue)
I actually considered writing this in third-person, but it sounded and felt weird, even for me.According to the laws of nature, my parent’s DNA was never meant to be mixed. It is either through God’s...
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When PowerPoints Lose Their Power
My company hosts a large conference every year where industry people come from far and wide to hear many expert speakers pontificate on relevant topics. I am one of these pontificators, and I am...
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Game 5 of the World Series Was A Real Bust
This year’s World Series was historic. Yes, the visiting team won all seven games, but another first-time occurrence topped even that. At the start of the middle of the seventh inning in Game 5,...
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Somebody Got My Goat Last Christmas – And This Year Too
By far, the best Christmas gift I gave last year was a goat. That’s right - I gave someone a live goat! And it was such a good gift that I’m giving more goats away this year. This may seem strange...
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Counting All Angels – That was one big hark!
The world in solemn stillness layTo hear the angels singSo many of our favorite Christmas carols make reference to the angels singing in announcing the birth of Christ. The basis for this is Luke...
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Heading Off A Cat-astrophe
Here are my most enchanting memories of last year, which never made it into a blog post. Now there could be hundreds of these moments. However with my fading memory, I can only remember two.The Cats...
View ArticleA Much-Needed Sabbatical
I began writing Ake’s Pain in May 2011. I have posted over 249 essays which I have compiled into three books. (Book 3 expected release is March 2020).And I need a break. Over the last year, sometimes I...
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I Demand the Constitutional Right to Wear Chinos
The big impeachment trial is ending, which featured lots of horrible behavior. It was all a big $h!+ - slinging contest, in which each side insisted that the other’s $h!+ smelled much worse than...
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Toilet Paper Therapy
If the current world situation wasn’t stressful enough, I am now dealing with a severe personal problem. I am constipated. But not just mildly constipated. No, I’m backed up like the L.A. freeway at...
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I Will Mock You With My Sock
I am wearing a sock on my face out in public. Before now, it would be unconscionable for me even to imagine the circumstances that would lead to this bizarre behavior.But it is true. I am repeatedly...
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When You And I Collide
There has been a whole lotta protestin’ going on, all over the country. Now I’m not getting into all those details about who is right and who is wrong. This is not about the subject of the protest;...
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Writing A Best-Selling Amish Romance
It’s a Saturday morning in August, and I find myself sitting at a table surrounded by Amish people. What? I’m having a book signing event at the Hartville Marketplace and Flea Market. It is a vast...
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Which Grandpa Do You Want Driving The Car?
Jan has a dilemma. She and her neighborhood friends need someone to drive them to volleyball practice. Everyone who normally does this is busy, so Jan must choose between her two grandfathers, Grandpa...
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There Are No Congratulations and There Is No G-word
Recently my daughter gave birth to a son, the first time my children have had a child of their own.Now, wait!I SAID, WAIT!!!! -- WAIT!!!! JUST WAIT!I’m warning you! I know what you are about to do –...
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Mall Maskness – 2020 Edition
Despite the pandemic, I decided to make my annual Christmas shopping excursion to the mall. So, I put on my turkey mask (yes, it’s real) and ventured out. I was concerned there would not be...
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He Wouldn’t Throw In The Towel
I had initially planned to launch my third humor book, “Turkey Terror At My Door!” at the end of last March. I had just started to schedule book signings and events when the lockdown hit in Ohio on...
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We Need Things To Slow Down Fast
If we didn’t already have enough to worry about, with the plague killing us with disease and our politicians killing us with hate, along comes this disturbing (actual) headline:“Scientists say Earth...
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Your Check Is In Postal Purgatory
I was thrilled to get a holiday card in the mail on February 2. I thought maybe Groundhog Day cards were a new thing this year because of the plague, and was excited to receive one from a co-worker in...
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Man-Plan Logic In Action
With all the trivial news stories such as vaccines, variants, and Mars landings, you may have overlooked that pertinent (actual) article about the Florida man who stole an engagement ring from one...
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Make Mr. Potato Head the Man He Is Supposed To Be
Hasbro recently announced the addition of a gender-neutral “Potato Head” product to its iconic Mr. Potato Head line. This has caused a vicious debate among people. You do realize that we are obsessed...
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